Jun. 4th, 2011

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 I really love this song, but somehow I always forget about it. I should download it, really.

In a related note, I really need to remember the line in my title. If I'm being honest, I am struggling to hold myself together at the moment. My good old distraction techniques work for the most part, but when I actually think about some of the stuff that's going on around me I just get really overwhelmed and upset. Plus, I had a flashback last night to my days at my old school because of a line in a fanfic I read (I never know what will get to me) and so that really doesn't help.

I don't really know what else to say about my week, except that it has been ridiculously up and down at best. snuggle_monster and I had an awesome musical night at my place, even if the musical part of that night was cut rather short. Oh well, we still managed to talk until 5am. Skill, we have them.

I then proceeded to sleep through my alarm, and got pissed off at myself for a number of reasons, and kind of exploded.
snuggle_monster, I'm sorry. I actually just needed to vent, and cry, and your logical and sensible arguments went completely unheeded and I apologise if I bit your head off unreasonably. I scare myself when I get like that, because I literally just don't comprehend reason - instead I am upset for the sake of being upset. Thank goodness I don't get like that often.

I forget that I'm not expected to know what to do at all times.

Anyway, enough of that. I have so much to do but I can hardly get myself to start (let alone finish) anything, what else is new... Procrastination you suck. I just know I'm going to end up winging my Indo oral exam, I just know it. I do have English notes, I just have to look up some key words and I do have all of tomorrow. Panic hasn't set in yet because of that.
I need to practice desperately. Oh, and my violin decided that last night was a brilliant time to start buzzing, 3 weeks out from my exam. Great.
I also have a list of random errands a mile long - most of which involve cash and so have been put 'on hold' as such until I get paid this week. Better be on time of I will throw something. I'm pretty sure I'll be flat broke in about a week or so. Fun times.

OH! In better news, I have my car back!! =D
Freedom is sweet. I won't be taking it for granted again for a while. and driving like a grandma
My Dad is also amazing, and I don't have to pay him back for anything until I get a full time job. So I owe a hell of a lot of money, but it's alright for now.

One last thing, I am turning 21 in less than a month. When did that happen?
My parents have decided that I should have a big party (I was going to go with smaller events, but hey i'm not complaining if they're paying...) so I'm currently trying to work out logistics. Just another method of procrastination.

I really should go now. Really really.
So. Bye. *waves*
Rdm

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November 2011

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