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 Guys guys guys, my technical exam is DONE!! It went so much better than expected, so I can relax a bit now. I have one more exam on Friday and then a month of delicious freedom.

I've gotten fairly slack with lj-posting, I will probably remedy that once I'm properly on break.
Since my last freak-out post over violin I:
- finally got off my arse and did some serious practice
- skyped [livejournal.com profile] pebblegosling  multiple times
- decided that I am taking the year off practical violin next year, and I won't go back on that now. I need a break from the stress it causes, and need time to settle into a proper routine
- put together my Esmeralda costume for the Disney-themed party I'm going to on Friday (I'll post a pic if I remember!)
- have bought myself clothes for the first time in ages
- finally paid off all those insurance claims
- spent a lot of time on tumblr and reading fanfic (including RPS for a movie I haven't seen - sign of good writing, right there)
- had a couple of good shifts at my teaching job
- taken my violin in to get a couple of niggling things fixed, of course, as soon as I physically *can't* play it, I wanted to

Last night was so much fun. I went to see Bell Shakespeare's production of 'Much Ado About Nothing' with [livejournal.com profile] snuggle_monster  and [livejournal.com profile] thalia03  and it was ridiculously funny. I honestly haven't laughed that hard in a long long time. My stomach hurt for ages afterwards. Beatrice was so good, so acerbic but still came across as not entirely bitter, Benedick was freaking hilarious because instead of putting on the overly formal accent a lot of actors do in Shakespeare he still had this almost-Bogan Aussie accent... took me a little while to warm up to it but once I did it was hilarious. The use of music was great, random assortments of instruments and awesome vocal harmonies - so good. So much of what made me laugh was physical humour, so it's not all stuff I can remember or describe now. Although one thing that cracked us up so much was the way Don John and his cronies were characterised - as mafia-type guys. The way the guy who played Don John was SO much like Rowan Atkinson's way of playing Mr Bean, we were in hysterics at points because of that.

I'd forgotten how much I love some of the more sappy dialogue in this play. 'I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest' <3

The ending was the single most appropriate way I could ever have thought of to finish that play. Basically, everyone is coupled off, embracing, and it's a really sappy affectionate moment. Cute. Lights dim except for on Beatrice and Benedick, as he reaches down and grabs her arse. Audience as a collective group: awwww.... HAHAHA XD

Today, thalia03 and I started studying for our English exam on Friday, watching Endgame and writing notes on poetry, interspersed with parts of movies and watching bits of Spring Awakening on youtube. The cast list for our uni's production went up the other day, and we were highly amused/surprised that the guy I kind of sort of have a mini crush on in English is in it. How do I spot the musos/musical theatre people in a LIT class?! Even for my instincts that's ridiculous.
We now have a plan to talk about Spring Awakening obnoxiously before the exam and try to draw him into conversation. Comfort zone, I am leaving you. Yep.

I think that's enough now!


Apr. 16th, 2011 05:25 pm
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 My title is literal.

So, I had work today and my Dad was going to go and find out what we can do about my car, and I visited him at work to switch cars yada yada. This is how our conversation went:

Dad: so I went and got your car checked out, there's over 2 grand worth of damage.
Me: :O *blinks* Really? How did I manage that...
Dad: Yeah, it's not worth spending that much to fix it. So, I uh, bought you another car. I saw it yesterday and...
Me: Wait, WHAT?!
Dad: A Vectra station-wagon, auto.
Me: *brain still trying to process this*

Once my Dad decides something, he doesn't screw around. Essentially, he bought me a better car than the one I had.
I honestly don't know what to say, my parents are amazing.
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 I totally wasn't going to let myself get sucked into this. Nup. But I am hopeless, and so here I am - after [livejournal.com profile] pebblegosling 's post about Myers-Briggs personality typing [livejournal.com profile] bugbeary  informed me of my type. I am in the middle of reading descriptions and I have to say, for someone who's never met me she's done better at typing me than any quiz ever has. Of course, there are some things that don't sit right with me, but I'm so hard to type generally that I'm just going to post the lines that rang so true and had me going 'omg omg omg'.

They have thinner psychological boundaries than most, and are at risk for being hurt or even abused by less sensitive people. ENFJs often take on more of the burdens of others than they can bear.
- Oh man, that last bit. 

In the sway of this rational function, these folks are predisposed to closure in matters pertaining to people, and especially on behalf of their beloved.

ENFJs are blessed through introverted intuition with clarity of perception in the inner, unconscious world.
Extraverted Feeling rules the ENFJ's psyche. In the sway of this rational function, these folks are predisposed to closure in matters pertaining to people, and especially on behalf of their beloved. As extraverts, their contacts are wide ranging. Face-to-face relationships are intense, personable and warm, though they may be so infrequently achieved that intimate friendships are rare.
- that very last bit not quite so much, but still relevant.

(those are all from here)

ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others.

They are fun to be with, and truly understand and love people. They are typically very straight-forward and honest.
- ummm

ENFJs have a special gift with people, and are basically happy people when they can use that gift to help others. They get their best satisfaction from serving others. Their genuine interest in Humankind and their exceptional intuitive awareness of people makes them able to draw out even the most reserved individuals.

ENFJs have a strong need for close, intimate relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort in creating and maintaining these relationships. They're very loyal and trustworthy once involved in a relationship.
Last passage, it's long, but if you do know me read it and you'll know why it's freaking me out right now. Fuuuu

ENFJ's are so externally focused that it's especially important for them to spend time alone. This can be difficult for some ENFJs, because they have the tendency to be hard on themselves and turn to dark thoughts when alone. Consequently, ENFJs might avoid being alone, and fill their lives with activities involving other people. ENFJs tend to define their life's direction and priorities according to other people's needs, and may not be aware of their own needs. It's natural to their personality type that they will tend to place other people's needs above their own, but they need to stay aware of their own needs so that they don't sacrifice themselves in their drive to help others.

(from here)

I'm just a little bit impressed with Janna's typing skills right now, not going to lie.
I'll post a proper update later tonight, but for now this ramble will do!
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These past few days have been ridiculously up and down mood-wise for me. Not sure what brought this on, to be honest, but I only have energy for a tiny recap here.

On Thursday I went into uni to study - I met up with Ame first, which was fine, except she was helping someone else with some homework and so it still feels like we haven't actually hung out. This makes me a little sad, why is uni so insane this semester?!
I then met up with snuggle_monster and thalia03, the latter of which I ended up talking more to as snuggle_monster had to clean (not entirely sure why, but something to do with student theatre). I am so happy that we get along like that, by the way. So happy. <3
OH!! I found out then that there is a big possibility that the musical Spring Awakening will be staged September-ish this year, not just the play version as we had previously thought. I WANT IN SO BADLY!!! Which is a distinct possibility, considering I know people in student theatre already. That news pretty much made my day. I got so much done then, and over the past few days, I am so proud of myself. I literally have my Indo reading and translation to do tonight, as well as practice, and I don't have ANY other work to get done this week. Except read Jane Eyre, but that IS rereading so it's not urgent. WHEEEEEE

Friday was a weird morning for me, I basically got hit with a huge wave of loneliness and I have no idea why. Thank god for amazing friends who know just what to say to help. The day improved from there, I was still very productive so all is good.

Work yesterday was fine, except for one kid's violin being a freaking pain and the bridge refusing to stay upright when I changed strings. Gah. I felt so bad, most of his lesson was me trying to fix the damn thing. It flew by though, and I think I may have poached a student from another teacher. I feel bad, but that makes me happy - it gives me confidence that I'm actually doing this well.

THEN it was onto my amazing weekend. (yep. I don't count my weekend as starting until 3pm on Saturdays =P) Because I've been so on top of everything this past week, I had said to myself that this was a weekend off. 
I got home, read a fair bit of fanfic to chill out, then found out we were going to have Thai takeaway for dinner. Omnomnom. I then headed out to the MSO's performance of Mahler's 7th Symphony - amazing. Not bad for a free ticket I scored through uni. Oh, and the conductor's surname was Wigglesworth. Not even kidding. I lol'd at that. Probably too much.

After that, it was on to snuggle_monster's place, where she and thalia03 and I were having a Glee marathon. Purportedly to catch thalia03 up to Glee, but I think we all just enjoyed laughing at each other's reactions to people - and joking about things I'd never have expected.
True to our style, our silliness was often interrupted by serious, full-on moments. It's part of our charm. An amazing night all round, I say.

This morning (well, okay, afternoon) we watched another ep of Glee (Original Song, I couldn't resist) and then went on a huge nostalgia trip of our favourite kids shows. Including the likes of:
-Johnson and Friends
-Ahh Real Monsters
-The Trap Door
-Mr Bean
-Okie Doke

I also now really want to rewatch Chicken Run.

For you, snuggle_monster

Love you pebblegosling!

That's all for me, off to do translation, then practice, and then chill.

PS. Have two random things that have amused me recently.

Ryan Murphy about comments asking why he focuses on gay storylines:
"we have thus far in the glee club two gay characters, and people are like whats with the gays, and i'm like you are aware it's a show about show choir?"

"If you need an extension, or wish to submit in an unusual manner, such as by carrier pigeon, please ask your tutor."This is why I love my English subject. The lecturers are full of win.
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Just when I think I'm getting somewhere, I get shot down again.

Here I go again... )
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*screams in frustration*

This practice is going NOWHERE. The first hour I did yesterday was good - I felt like I was getting better, and actually taking on what my teacher was saying (she decided on Friday that she'd suddenly get picky and change what she was telling me to do) but then I went back later on and it was just scratch scratch squeak squeak + horrible out of tune chords. Argh. And then my wrist started hurting, and I know it's because I'm playing too tense - but I can't work out how to release that. It's taking all of the will-power I have (and distractions) not to start panicking.

I guess it doesn't really help that I have other things on my mind. One of which is the crazy thing about being in the 'same' position as I was this time last year. Ironically, I was more confident of my abilities then than I am now. Even though I know I've improved - the difference is that I've seen my competition. And that's scary. I'm purposely stopping myself getting too hopeful or excited for next year, because now that seems like setting myself up for a fall. I don't want to be as shattered as I was when I was rejected last year. I think I will be though - if I don't get into either course. But then I think about this last year, with all it's ups and downs, I am glad that I did the Foundation year. Even if it's for the pure and simple reason that I have met some truly awesome people, and made some great friends. Which, after all, is what's important. The other thing I've realised is that I am going overseas in 33 days. Since when is it this close??? It's always been the hypothetical situation, even when we were buying tickets and such it just didn't feel real. I don't think it will feel real until I'm there. I am incredibly excited, and kind of freaked out because it'll be the first major trip I've done on my own. I'm hoping I'll tire myself out too much to be homesick.

Speaking of friends, I hung out with one of the ones I met this year (through fb - how funny) on Friday afternoon/night. After a really long trip home from the city (I hate city driving) due to traffic and my shocking sense of direction we headed out to see New Moon. The great thing about having low expectations for something (not having read the books/bought into the hype) is that you are often pleasantly surprised. Judging purely as a movie, it was actually pretty good! I mean, sure, I wanted to slap Bella and tell her to get over it in a certain scene, and I still don't get the sparkly thing - but ah well. Kristen Stewart actually improved. I was impressed. A couple of things I had a bit of a giggle at. The first was, before the movie had started we were sitting outside waiting for the cinema to be cleaned and this girl of about 15 (I think) waiting with her mum. Well, her mum was asking us if it was in cinema 5, and if we were waiting to see New Moon. Then the girl speaks up, and I quote "Mum sit DOWN. You are not going to miss it!" then she turns to us "she's obsessed" N and I sat there quietly chuckling to ourselves for a couple of minutes at the role reversal. XD
Another thing I was laughing at was the reaction from the entire cinema when Jacob first took his shirt off. I completely agreed, but it was just funny. Audible gasps .... hehe. And then, of course, I laughed at all the awkward turtle moments between Bella and Mike. ([livejournal.com profile] harpisan: Mike asking Bella to the movies and being misunderstood, that is almost exactly what happened to me, with M) Even though N had warned me that the ending was weird, I was still just like w.t.f. Guess that's because I haven't read the book...

So then, we head home and watch 'The Emperor's New Groove' because we are awesome. Nuff said. XD
Surprisingly we didn't go to sleep all that late - weird for us. Haha.

Well, I'd better get back to trying to practice.

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*chuckles* I love musicals, and the fact that the random people on the street just know the songs. The line in my title is so apt though. It's from Enchanted and being a Disney nut I absolutely adore that movie. If it wasn't the by same people there would be so many lawsuits for all the rip-offs! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9JB5VAHDMo - dodgy quality but you get the idea)
So, why am I talking about this? It's what I do. Well, actually, I was showing [livejournal.com profile] harpisan , who unbelievably hasn't seen it. It's now on our really long list of things we want to do in the near future. Youtubing at midnight after a concert = win.

Ahem, yes. Concert. Andre Rieu. As a classical musician, I am ashamed to say I enjoyed myself. I'll admit, I went in with the attitude that the whole thing is so smarmy and cheesy and that I didn't have much respect for the whole idea or him for that matter. But the second item just got me. Beautiful, pure and simple. My respect for him as a violinist jumped about a mile. And then people started clapping before it had finished. Snapped me out of my spell - and I remembered where I was. And realised that yes, I am a classical music snob. Having said that, I did end up relaxing and enjoying the show for what it was. They are all completely NUTS. All of them. I am vaguely worried that his sense of humour is rather similar to ours...
For example, he had way too much fun messing with all the non-musical people in the audience. He would encourage them to clap, and then suddenly slow down. Or when they were dancing (yes, corny) to The Blue Danube, he would pause. He did it so often that we were left in amazement at how they would fall for it *every* time. Ahh musical schadenfreude. Love it. And the joke about his heart beating in 3/4 time - we were in hysterics and the people around us were just like "it's meant to be funny, we'll smile, but we don't get it".
Let's not forget the heart attacks this poor violinist had at an $11 million Stradivarius violin being swung around the stage...

Oh something else that appealed to us happened earlier in the day. This random guy was letting me pull out in front of him, not with the usual handwave though. He pulled out this EPIC flourish and bow. Made our afternoon.

So that was Friday. On Saturday, I had to work - I was so incredibly tired. I was dreading my violin lesson, quite frankly, because I thought it was going to suffer because of my lack of energy. Amazingly, my teacher had almost nothing to say about the Schubert, and bar a few memory slips in the Bach it was also fine. The Legende wasn't too bad either, I just have to consciously *relax* or my hand tenses up and those chords just sound like crap. But in comparison to last year - well it's like a different person is playing it. One thing I love about doing essentially the same pieces now as I did last time, it's really easy to see an improvement in my playing. This could be the reason that I'm actually excited about my recital - as opposed to nervous. Touch wood I'm not speaking too soon.
The bad thing about that, of course, is that I'm getting pretty bored at the moment. I can't wait to do the exam so I can start some new stuff. What to play though?

Saturday night - Halloween. I don't celebrate it, never have, and don't really have any desire to. So what do I do? I had the house to myself (my parents didn't actually remember to tell me that I had to get my own dinner but ah well) so I blasted my music, cleaned up my room, all the while dancing to said music. Such an awesome use of my time. Especially dancing around to 'You Make My Dreams'. Just saying. I was incredibly bouncy, for one main reason. I realised that because it was the 31st of October, it was 8 weeks until I leave for Indonesia. It's certainly snuck up on us - but it's so exciting.

Yesterday I went to church for the first time in a while, it went for sooo long. I'm still struggling to connect - but it's nice to know that the people are so sweet, they do keep encouraging me to come. Bah. I don't know how to explain it, other than it's not the Salvos. Which is all I've known. On that note, my family decided this week that at the end of the year they are going to leave my old church too. The whole situation is pretty sad really, considering my mum has been there her entire life - but you have to move on when it's not going anywhere. As I've discovered.

So we get to today. What have I done? Almost nothing. Cleaned out my desk (there is something satisfying about organising my life haha) and chatted on msn. One last rehearsal with my accompanist (who is brilliant I might add) this morning, but that was the extent of my productivity. Ah well.
One other thing I managed to do today: I tripped up my stairs. I now have a huge lump just under my knee, that will probably be black and blue by tomorrow. Nearly swore at the top of my lungs too - with Mum home. Luckily I caught myself, she wouldn't have been to pleased with me.

Well that's quite enough for one post I think, so I will go back to reading this webcomic that [livejournal.com profile] pebblegosling so kindly showed me, and laughing at all the ones mocking my own religion. They're just so damn funny.

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I've met some folks who say that I'm a dreamer
And I've no doubt there's truth in what they say,
But sure a body's bound to be a dreamer
When all the things he loves are far away
And precious things are dreams unto an exile
They take him o'er the land across the sea
Especially when it happens he's an exile
From that dear lovely Isle of Innisfree

I know this is probably a pointless exercise as none of them will read this, but:

To the people on the train and at the station this morning, thank you for reminding me that people do care - even about random crying girls on the train. Whether it was giving me tissues, making jokes about how crappy public transport is, or just simply putting their hand on my shoulder and asking if there was anything they could do to help me out. It probably felt like nothing, but I can't describe how much better those simple gestures made me feel.

Hello faith in humanity, where have you been?

As to the reason I was crying, well, events of the past couple of months just hit me again. I manage to be so in control most of the time so unlike me actually but today I just lost it.
K, I miss you so much.

I was kind of embarrassed at my little outburst there - but one thing I did find funny was that J, our ensemble tutor, somehow managed to appear once I got to the station red-eyed and drained. This is funny/strange/embarrassing because she must think I'm an absolute sook. I've broken down once, chucked a hissy fit another time, and now was just randomly at the station after I'd been crying yet again.
*laughs* Ah well.

Speaking of ensemble *runs around in panicky circles* as much as I think the piece we are playing is awesome - it is so freaking hard. 7 quavers against 6 is NOT FUN. *calms down* We'll get there. With a bit of luck (please please please let our exam be late)

Aside from all of that, the rest of the day was alright - [profile] harpisanand I found nachos (we *wanted* to be healthy but the place didn't have any vegetarian options left) and wandered down to Southern Cross station admiring all of the expensive but pretty dresses and bags in the shops we found. Oh, and the same can be said for the cakes. Admiring, putting them on the list, and continuing to walk.

*sigh* Nothing constructive is getting done, maybe I'll go watch Glee (I'm ashamed to say I'm hooked) and go to bed. Up early tomorrow. Again.

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Damn it [livejournal.com profile] pebblegosling, that song is firmly lodged in my head. And I want to listen to the rest of the soundtrack.

Today was another good day. I managed to get in 2.5 solid hours of practice as well as playing in Performance Seminar - twice! I was slightly pissed off that a certain person (who shall remain nameless) agreed to play for someone else after brushing me off, but I got over that fairly quickly. I actually wasn't all that happy with how I played  - but I got some pretty good comments about my tone in the middle section, so I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought. I hate it when I start really awkwardly, and just know that the sound isn't projecting. I tried to fix it as I went, but that section just didn't carry properly. Bah. Then I got up and played one of my Bach pieces, spur of the moment, and I knew immediately that the tone of this was better. What made me even happier was that [profile] harpisansaid my intonation was really good - the main challenge of that movement is to get 'true tuning' because it's essentially broken chords, that have to be spot on so they ring and sound like they're being played as chords. *grins* Ah the irony of the piece I haven't worked on being better than the one I did.

It's also great to see how much people have improved over the few months since we last heard each other play. A couple of people in particular. I was completely amazed by the progress B has made since I heard him play the same study a while ago. Just wow. He has gotten those pesky nerves (the 'n' word - 'I SAID IT AGAIN') under control, and his playing is so much better for it. The other is [profile] harpisanherself. Even though I listen to her practice occasionally, the difference between the last time she played in performance seminar (a month ago) made me so proud to hear =P. I forgot to record it though, oops  The expression, the balance of the parts, and just the tone projection in general have improved so much - and they will continue to do so I'm sure.

After all this, I went to see the MSO - love free tickets (thanks [livejournal.com profile] pebblegosling). I had to laugh when I the person introducing the world premiere of 'Re-Collecting Asteroids' came out, and she's gone "Wow that violinist is tall" Me: "Uhh that's my teacher" J: *makes LOL hand gesture*. I'm happy that I finally saw her playing, considering every time I go she doesn't! Ahaha. She also makes me laugh with her excited-ness over new compositions. It's cute.
It's also pretty awesome to hear one of our history pieces performed live - even with the applause fail at the end of the third movement. I guess it's Tchaikovsky's own fault for making that one the fast one =P

I'm getting slightly worried at the frequency with which I've been managing to leave my violin behind. *facepalm* Thank goodness I have friends who notice ... I'm such a moron sometimes I swear.

Well I'd better get to bed, I'm afraid I've made a habit of staying up too late - and so far still maintaining the early morning walks. I'll get there - I just want a sleep-in. Perhaps Wednesday. Perhaps.


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November 2011

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