rdm_ation

Nothing like finding out you basically failed an assessment to put a dampener on your recently acquired good mood.

Not that the email said that, exactly. I have to re-sit it because I 'can do better'. Well, yeah, sure, but you don't have to re-sit a pass/fail assessment if you've passed...
The other thing that got me was this: 'it is very important that you understand that orchestral excerpts need to be played as if they are your solo repertoire!'
I knew that. Obviously my playing was just crap. Greattt. Why is it always my playing that lets me down? It's points like this that I ask myself why I am doing the double degree at all (but then I love Indo) or how the hell I can even think that I can survive in the performance world, if my playing always just disintegrates when I'm in a performance situation.
Then, of course, I get the talk from my dad about how I haven't been doing enough practice (which is totally true, btw) and I tried to justify myself to him when I can't really justify it to myself. I just don't know where the time goes.

And you know what? I'm just so damn exhausted at the moment. I hate feeling like this. Because I know that I am capable of this.

I did get my music history essay done, and my major asian studies one, and I caught up with my asian studies readings. That was why I was feeling good this morning. Gah.
Ok. Back to work I go. Apologies to anyone reading this - I just needed to vent.
Rdm