rdm_ation

 I'm not even going to try and recount it all, so have it in list form instead.

Things that happened:

- Orchestra rehearsals: about 16 hours of them
- Orchestra concert (today, it went pretty well)
- Orchestra assessments (cue freak out because mine sucked - passed only because the teacher felt sorry for me and I have to up my game next semester)
- Spring Awakening audition (found out today that I'M IN!! WHEEE)
- My very first Alexander Technique lesson and am already reaping the rewards. Now regretting being so lazy and not doing this months ago.
- Spent a lot of time talking to snuggle_monster (both in silliness and seriousness)
- Read fanfic
- Beta-ed fanfic
- Discovered that Washington's new video screams 'Gaga' and I don't think I like it.
- Met up with thalia03 and Ame at uni
- Saw a really good student theatre play that could have been amazing with a little more tweaking (included an intense, hot, makeout/faux sex scene between two guys)
- DID I MENTION SPRING AWAKENING?!
- Also opera (Turandot) - today really has proven what I want to do, was on SUCH an adrenaline high after the concert
- Decent practice/lesson/new pieces
- Got the first assignment for English and it is on an amazing passage from the brilliant book I got addicted to
- Work on weird days because of orchestra
- I wrote poetry
- Had an awkward moment with a friendly acquaintance who picked up said poetry thinking it was what I was studying and I had to take it back. I might post it here when I rework it a little, not entirely happy with it yet.
- Got home today after said insane week to much Glee Live madness on my tumblr. =D


Things that didn't happen:

- Much study
- Any Indo work whatsoever- Eating at home
- Spending time with my family
- Much sleep

That's all my brain is coming up with right now, I am sure there was more I wanted to say.
At any rate, today was awesome. I am on such a high, and should probably go start my English assignments.
Also sleep.
That.

Rdm

 Guys guys guys, my technical exam is DONE!! It went so much better than expected, so I can relax a bit now. I have one more exam on Friday and then a month of delicious freedom.

I've gotten fairly slack with lj-posting, I will probably remedy that once I'm properly on break.
Since my last freak-out post over violin I:
- finally got off my arse and did some serious practice
- skyped pebblegosling  multiple times
- decided that I am taking the year off practical violin next year, and I won't go back on that now. I need a break from the stress it causes, and need time to settle into a proper routine
- put together my Esmeralda costume for the Disney-themed party I'm going to on Friday (I'll post a pic if I remember!)
- have bought myself clothes for the first time in ages
- finally paid off all those insurance claims
- spent a lot of time on tumblr and reading fanfic (including RPS for a movie I haven't seen - sign of good writing, right there)
- had a couple of good shifts at my teaching job
- taken my violin in to get a couple of niggling things fixed, of course, as soon as I physically *can't* play it, I wanted to

Last night was so much fun. I went to see Bell Shakespeare's production of 'Much Ado About Nothing' with snuggle_monster  and thalia03  and it was ridiculously funny. I honestly haven't laughed that hard in a long long time. My stomach hurt for ages afterwards. Beatrice was so good, so acerbic but still came across as not entirely bitter, Benedick was freaking hilarious because instead of putting on the overly formal accent a lot of actors do in Shakespeare he still had this almost-Bogan Aussie accent... took me a little while to warm up to it but once I did it was hilarious. The use of music was great, random assortments of instruments and awesome vocal harmonies - so good. So much of what made me laugh was physical humour, so it's not all stuff I can remember or describe now. Although one thing that cracked us up so much was the way Don John and his cronies were characterised - as mafia-type guys. The way the guy who played Don John was SO much like Rowan Atkinson's way of playing Mr Bean, we were in hysterics at points because of that.

I'd forgotten how much I love some of the more sappy dialogue in this play. 'I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest' <3

The ending was the single most appropriate way I could ever have thought of to finish that play. Basically, everyone is coupled off, embracing, and it's a really sappy affectionate moment. Cute. Lights dim except for on Beatrice and Benedick, as he reaches down and grabs her arse. Audience as a collective group: awwww.... HAHAHA XD

Today, thalia03 and I started studying for our English exam on Friday, watching Endgame and writing notes on poetry, interspersed with parts of movies and watching bits of Spring Awakening on youtube. The cast list for our uni's production went up the other day, and we were highly amused/surprised that the guy I kind of sort of have a mini crush on in English is in it. How do I spot the musos/musical theatre people in a LIT class?! Even for my instincts that's ridiculous.
We now have a plan to talk about Spring Awakening obnoxiously before the exam and try to draw him into conversation. Comfort zone, I am leaving you. Yep.

I think that's enough now!
Rdm

 I really love this song, but somehow I always forget about it. I should download it, really.

In a related note, I really need to remember the line in my title. If I'm being honest, I am struggling to hold myself together at the moment. My good old distraction techniques work for the most part, but when I actually think about some of the stuff that's going on around me I just get really overwhelmed and upset. Plus, I had a flashback last night to my days at my old school because of a line in a fanfic I read (I never know what will get to me) and so that really doesn't help.

I don't really know what else to say about my week, except that it has been ridiculously up and down at best. snuggle_monster and I had an awesome musical night at my place, even if the musical part of that night was cut rather short. Oh well, we still managed to talk until 5am. Skill, we have them.

I then proceeded to sleep through my alarm, and got pissed off at myself for a number of reasons, and kind of exploded.
snuggle_monster, I'm sorry. I actually just needed to vent, and cry, and your logical and sensible arguments went completely unheeded and I apologise if I bit your head off unreasonably. I scare myself when I get like that, because I literally just don't comprehend reason - instead I am upset for the sake of being upset. Thank goodness I don't get like that often.

I forget that I'm not expected to know what to do at all times.

Anyway, enough of that. I have so much to do but I can hardly get myself to start (let alone finish) anything, what else is new... Procrastination you suck. I just know I'm going to end up winging my Indo oral exam, I just know it. I do have English notes, I just have to look up some key words and I do have all of tomorrow. Panic hasn't set in yet because of that.
I need to practice desperately. Oh, and my violin decided that last night was a brilliant time to start buzzing, 3 weeks out from my exam. Great.
I also have a list of random errands a mile long - most of which involve cash and so have been put 'on hold' as such until I get paid this week. Better be on time of I will throw something. I'm pretty sure I'll be flat broke in about a week or so. Fun times.

OH! In better news, I have my car back!! =D
Freedom is sweet. I won't be taking it for granted again for a while. and driving like a grandma
My Dad is also amazing, and I don't have to pay him back for anything until I get a full time job. So I owe a hell of a lot of money, but it's alright for now.

One last thing, I am turning 21 in less than a month. When did that happen?
My parents have decided that I should have a big party (I was going to go with smaller events, but hey i'm not complaining if they're paying...) so I'm currently trying to work out logistics. Just another method of procrastination.

I really should go now. Really really.
So. Bye. *waves*
Rdm

 And then it comes crashing down. Almost literally.

I had a couple of good days where I finally was feeling okay about everything, and on top of my work, and then I managed to get in another car accident that was my fault. Misjudged stopping distance in the rain... Oh and it was on a major freeway, so police got called and I have a ticket for 'following too close'. Even though they actually weren't around to see if I was, it's just assumed. Gah. I don't need this. I feel so guilty too, as it was the fricking new car that my parents got me. *headdesk*

I could brush one incident like that off, but now my confidence on the road has been shaken. I just... I haven't been so afraid of driving since I was a petrified 16-year-old learner.
I'm amazed my Dad still lent me his car today... I wouldn't lend my car to me.

So easy to say getting up for my 8am lecture on 5 hours sleep was a struggle. Thankfully the day (kind of) improved from there.
My Indo teacher is all kinds of amazing. We had an assignment due today, which I emailed at like 1am, and in our 9am class she had it back, with suggestions, and told me to take a couple more days and add some stuff in. Just, wow.
Conducting was okay, although I kept zoning out. Oops.
Then I met up with thalia03 and we just talked about anything and everything, I ranted about cars and money and stress, and we laughed about all the random connections we have.
Then it was English. Ooh boy that tute was intense. We're studying Hamlet, and somehow the discussion hit too close to home, talking about depression. I was on edge, and getting a bit upset when I was talking at one point, and then got even more so when the tutor made a flippant comment that I took a lot of offense at. I was proud of myself, because I went up to him after class and politely pointed out that he should be more careful of how he says things like that because you just don't know what will trigger people. I know he didn't mean it the way he said it, and he understood and was really good about me pointing it out.
Oh, and another girl who barely knows me waited for me outside just to check that I was alright. thalia03 and I just about melted into a puddle. So sweet.

Speaking of, I am so happy to be getting to know you better, thalia03. Thank you so much for staying with me today, I really needed it.

I'm feeling pretty okay now, I don't have to take public transport to rehearsal tomorrow which is a relief, as it would have taken me 2 hours to do so - I can sleep in a bit now. Which I also desperately need. Now I am off to do a little study and just chill for a while.

Rdm

PS. I also had my orchestral assessment today, which went better than I expected but I'm still not sure if I'll have done well enough to pass first go.

 I am happy to report that I am feeling much much better after a couple of decent night’s sleep (damn it Dad, why must you be right?! XD) Between yesterday’s study session (which was fun, after all yay!) and my productivity today I am not feeling quite so worn down.
True, I still have a lot left to do – but I’ve finished all my homework tasks for the week, and so can focus on all these pesky assignments. I also managed to get in about 2 hours of really good practice in so I am really happy with myself atm.

( Study and real life )

 I've been resisting posting all day, so I can actually get some work done, but I've had a really productive day and this is now my break.

This Klaine video is so beautiful. I love it.
It won't let me embed it, but watch it here.

The past few days have been pretty crazy, really. What with study, work, practice, and then heading to sine_animo's place for a sleepover last night I've been so busy. Great though.

A few points, to make this quick:
1. Planning out my practice helps. A lot. I've gotten a lot done in a short amount of practice time! Efficiency win =D
2. This muscle relaxation thing is AMAZING. I can never get my brain to switch off, normally, and when I do these exercises I drift off to sleep about 5 minutes after finishing. I haven't felt so well-rested in a long time.
3. Hanging out with sine_animo is epic. 

On that last point, here is a sample of what we did.

We squeed and fangirled like crazy over Glee. Again.

We watched Hercules. Some of the lines in that movie are SO amusing, and would have flown straight over my head when I was younger. Like this:


Epic win call of the night though, goes to sine_animo for 'cockblocking cloud'. At the end, when Hercules and Meg are kissing a random cloud comes and takes them away.
(it also wins the award for most real-looking Disney kiss ever. just saying)
A lot of Hades' lines are briliantly sarcastic and amusing too.
Then, we headed out to her spa and had a playlist of Darren Criss, Glee, and random other loves of ours. So good. Apart from entertaining her god-sister for a while (she's 8 and needs attention like she needs air), we had the chance just to talk. About anything and everything.

Then it was rewatching the 'Sexy' episode of Glee, and then I had my mind totally blown.
When I was a little kid, the only places I would watch movies were at my two sets of grandparents' houses. At my mum's parents house, I would watch all manner of Disney movies. At my dad's parents' house, I would watch 'The Swan Princess'. Over and over and over. I loved that movie to pieces.
I was informed last night that Jean-Bob, ie the epically funny frog, was VOICED BY JOHN CLEESE. WHAT IS THAT?!
So naturally, after that revelation we HAD to watch some of it. I want to rewatch that movie so freaking much now. As a parting gift, here is a song from it that I just found, it was always one of my favourites. I still haven't found the turtle's amazing 'friends call me speed' line. DO WANT.


Rdm

PS. This made me laugh hysterically when I got home.

I've had a pretty good day today, despite early morning lectures (to which the lecturer was late, damn it could have slept longer) on Labour Day. Although, I did crash at home when I settled down to read. Naps are lovely. So happy I didn't have to work.

I had my own moment of 'what are you doing Lauren, just freaking start talking - you do that enough it shouldn't be this hard' in my long break. Sat down in the campus centre and couldn't help but overhear the intelligent debate going on next to me between this *really* attractive guy and a couple of his friends. WANTED TO BUTT IN SO BADLY. But chickened out. Gah. I need to put myself out there more. Yep. New mission. XD Get over that pronto.

Other than that, I did the tiniest amount of practice tonight - this week's been horrible for that for me. Not sure why. Kind of writing it off, even when I try it just fails. I'll get there.


( music meme! )

 

The most ridiculous things make me laugh insanely hard.

I had a really great weekend - slept over at sine_animo's place with snuggle_monster, watched the Emperor's New Groove because snuggle_monster hadn't and needed to. Of course, she thought it was epic. She also was in hysterics over some things that even I don't find *that* funny. After that we talked, danced to bad 90s music and were alternately ridiculously silly and very serious. We certainly are brain-twins.
Our next thing is trying to get myself, snuggle_monster, pebblegosling and sine_animo in one place to hang out. I think our brains would explode completely. (brain-twins plus brain-twins plus really good friends)
I then went home at about midday on Sunday, and was actually productive. I was so proud of myself.
I went to bed early as well.

Then proceeded to sleep through my alarm and wake up 20 minutes after I was supposed to leave for uni. GAH. Missed my first lecture, got to Indo 15 minutes late, realised I hadn't done the reading or the translation I was supposed, was generally spaced out. I was in such a shitty mood by that point. After that I had a 4-hour break so my thoughts were basically 'I should have just rolled over and gone back to sleep'.
It did improve, eventually. I'm feeling quite good now after my shift at work. I have 2 new violin students who just got violins this week, and they're both getting a decent sound already, which is pretty much unheard of. <3

Another thing that has made me happy is that this time around I can actually play most of my scales straight away. *grins* Progress!!

I think that's all I have to say tonight, just a quick update before I go off to do some more work.
Rdm

 This probably isn't exciting, or mean terribly much to most of my f-list, but I have made a decision to join the student theatre group and/or the student musical society at my uni. I had the realisation the other day that I've missed being involved in productions so much since school, and I hadn't noticed until I started this Sound of Music gig. It'll suck up a LOT of time this year, but I will have to be more organised and focus on that, practice, and Indo - letting myself be ok with just passing my other units. It's an attitude that doesn't come naturally to me, but I think it's important. I'm sick of being the one who shuts herself in with study and doesn't get out and meet people. 

Thankfully, I spoke to Mum and to my surprise she's more than okay with me using my time like this. That was the last thing I wanted to get, her approval, before committing to this.

OMG I'm actually doing this. Excuse me while I go panic/dance excitedly.

Oh and all those who know me know I can't act, I'm not suddenly professing a love or a talent for it - I will be involved in the music side of things, or perhaps even costuming or something like that. I've never done that before, but who knows, I might be good at it.

Rdm

 It's been a weird couple of days.

( Actual update! )