rdm_ation

And then it comes crashing down. Almost literally.

I had a couple of good days where I finally was feeling okay about everything, and on top of my work, and then I managed to get in another car accident that was my fault. Misjudged stopping distance in the rain... Oh and it was on a major freeway, so police got called and I have a ticket for 'following too close'. Even though they actually weren't around to see if I was, it's just assumed. Gah. I don't need this. I feel so guilty too, as it was the fricking new car that my parents got me. *headdesk*

I could brush one incident like that off, but now my confidence on the road has been shaken. I just... I haven't been so afraid of driving since I was a petrified 16-year-old learner.
I'm amazed my Dad still lent me his car today... I wouldn't lend my car to me.

So easy to say getting up for my 8am lecture on 5 hours sleep was a struggle. Thankfully the day (kind of) improved from there.
My Indo teacher is all kinds of amazing. We had an assignment due today, which I emailed at like 1am, and in our 9am class she had it back, with suggestions, and told me to take a couple more days and add some stuff in. Just, wow.
Conducting was okay, although I kept zoning out. Oops.
Then I met up with thalia03 and we just talked about anything and everything, I ranted about cars and money and stress, and we laughed about all the random connections we have.
Then it was English. Ooh boy that tute was intense. We're studying Hamlet, and somehow the discussion hit too close to home, talking about depression. I was on edge, and getting a bit upset when I was talking at one point, and then got even more so when the tutor made a flippant comment that I took a lot of offense at. I was proud of myself, because I went up to him after class and politely pointed out that he should be more careful of how he says things like that because you just don't know what will trigger people. I know he didn't mean it the way he said it, and he understood and was really good about me pointing it out.
Oh, and another girl who barely knows me waited for me outside just to check that I was alright. thalia03 and I just about melted into a puddle. So sweet.

Speaking of, I am so happy to be getting to know you better, thalia03. Thank you so much for staying with me today, I really needed it.

I'm feeling pretty okay now, I don't have to take public transport to rehearsal tomorrow which is a relief, as it would have taken me 2 hours to do so - I can sleep in a bit now. Which I also desperately need. Now I am off to do a little study and just chill for a while.

Rdm

PS. I also had my orchestral assessment today, which went better than I expected but I'm still not sure if I'll have done well enough to pass first go.